State of the Union by Licky

With the NBA playoffs coming to their uneventful conclusion (I think the Celtics won), it's now time to focus on what matters in this world - the Philadelphia 76ers. This blog, after all, is called "Sixers Fiend," not "A place to repost Chad Ford chats." Whether or not the Charlotte Bobcats are thinking about rehiring Bernie Bickerstaff doesn't interest me. What interests me? The Sixers. A team who through the years have brought us joy and pain (mostly pain) and whose alumni includes Michael Cage, Jeff Ruland, and Billy Owens.

Ok, so with the draft a few days away, it seems like a good time to take stock. A nice season, some nice playoff wins, but it's clear they need help. Most importantly they need a power forward and a point guard to succeed Andre Miller (a tall one at that if you believe, as I do, that Lou Williams isn't a capable of playing point and will probably be a 2). As there don't seem to be many quality point guards projected to go in the middle of the 1st round, lets talk big men. Here's my analysis:

Let me start off by saying that if the Sixers take Kosta Koufos I'm going to sever my testes, sprinkle them with goats blood, and mail them first class to Uncle Eddie Stephanski. That aside, there are some nice big men available where the Sixers pick.

"The Frontrunner" - Marreese Speights, 6'10, Florida. One of the few players the Sixers have worked out in person. Projected by most mock drafts to go right around 16. One of the few big men with post skills who can rebound in that classic Karl Malone power forward mold. Plus Raivetz likes him, and he played with Kobe, so I can't disagree. Would be a solid pick

"The Longshot" - Anthony Randolph, 6'11, LSU. One of the most highly rated players in the draft, the 6ers would most likely have to trade up to get him. Can rebound, very athletic, can handle the ball. Would fit very nicely with the Sixers uptempo style. If he falls to 16 I'm going to head down south on the broad street line down and ejaculate on the spectrum. I hope there are no children reading this (ie Tonti)

"The Project" DeAndre Jordan, 7'0, Texas A&M. This is an interesting one. I caught this guy play once this year and he definitely stood out as ridiculously talented. Doesn't have many offensive moves, but great around the basket, Dwight Howard type explosiveness (with skinnier frame). Would be an interesting pick, though don't think he would fit well with Dalembert and Iguadala.

Others

Donte Green, 6'10 Syracuse. More of a small forward

Robin Lopez, 7'0, Stanford. Stiff.

Kevin Love, 6'9, UCLA. Interesting. Projected high, though will inevitably fall when teams come to their senses and remember his skin color. Would conceivably be a good fit with the Sixers, but they drafted Jason Smith last year, so thinking of two whities in their future frontcourt makes me throw up in my mouth.